Blog | The Feelings Of Pain, Guilt, and Anger When We Lose a Loved One.

The Feelings Of Pain, Guilt, and Anger When We Lose a Loved One.

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When We Lose a Loved One: Have you recently felt devastated because of the loss of a close family member or friend?

Have you recently felt frustrated or even ANGRY after the passing of a close family member or friend because it created a financial and/or emotional burden within the family?

It could be that the family had to pay out of pocket for the expense – OR – you may feel as though someone in the inner circle (family, friends) of the deceased is taking advantage of the situation (i.e. stealing property, assets, money, etc.) or acting suspiciously?

Death brings out the best in some people, but the unfortunate reality is that death brings out the worst in others.

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People Purchase Not Because of Common Sense, Rather Because of Emotion

There is a common belief (saying) among sales professionals;

People do not purchase based on common sense, they purchase on emotion.

Whether you and/or I agree with that belief is a topic for another conversation

… BUT …

I will say with absolute 100% certainty that one of the most vulnerable times in our lives is while we are grieving a loss. One of the most extreme cases of vulnerability is when someone starts to consider purchasing life insurance.

Why do I use the word – VULNERABLE? Many life insurance professionals view their job solely as that of a salesperson, not as that of a problem solver but only as a salesperson. During these times of vulnerability, you desperately need a consultant and problem solver first, and a salesperson secondarily.

The Emotional Experience Of Losing Someone Close To You

When We Lose a Loved One: Losing a close friend or family member is VERY traumatic emotionally, mentally, spiritually and even physically. Our guard is down and we might be angry or in a state of mind NOT to make common-sense decisions. While it is true everyone deals with grief in their own individual way, because of the emotional experience we are indeed vulnerable.

During these times, we are captive-to-a-moment of the feelings of pain, guilt, and grief. Our human instincts are to relieve those feelings of pain, guilt, and grief.

This is why many people may start to drink more heavily after such an experience. This is why some people might find themselves in some level of depression. Some people might even resort to gambling as an outlet.

The feelings that go along with loss also include feelings of what happens if I pass, how do I best protect my family and the ones I love?

NOW – these feelings are amplified and heightened when the final moments (i.e. service, funerals, viewing, reception) when someone’s passing creates a financial burden on the family.

Recommendations for Making Life Insurance Purchasing Decisions After Losing a Loved One

When We Lose a Loved One: If you find yourself in an emotional state of pain, guilt and/or anger after losing someone close to you, it’s human nature and there is nothing at all wrong with those feelings.

In terms of fighting through day-to-day life after losing someone close, the hurt and pain will subside over time. It may never go away, but it will slowly be less painful.

I recall when I lost my uncle (who I was very close with), it took a good 6 months of investigation to reduce the pain, guilt, and anger I felt due to the circumstances. Slowly the feelings went away.

As far as life insurance;

I will venture to say that 1/3 to 1/2 of final expense policies that are sold are a direct result of the person on the other end losing recently someone close to them – AND – that experience left an emotional scar with the feeling to do something to help their family – it’s human nature.

First thing I would recommend is that if you feel a need to purchase life insurance and if that will help you through the grieving process and relieve some level of pain, then by all means – DO IT! Do not wait, just do it.

NOW, if you do purchase a life insurance policy, it may not be the perfect policy for you but something is better than nothing (at least temporarily). The peace of mind for you and your family along with the emotional relief is worth the expense.

PLEASE DO UNDERSTAND (and remember) that whatever you purchase today can easily be replaced tomorrow. So even if it’s not the perfect policy for you, when you are beyond the grieving and emotion of your recent loss you can always revisit replacing the policy later.

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